I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
