just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
