let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You pole danced in your parka.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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