How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
