How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
