hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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