In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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