Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
