the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
