yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
