Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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