Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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