Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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