I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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