I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
