I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
