Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
