please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I understand Curling. That high.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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