I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
