I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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