$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
