what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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