well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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