i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
