you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
