Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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