At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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