she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
