Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
