My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
