just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
