he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
