I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
3pm strippers are depressing
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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