i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
