butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
