So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
