Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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