So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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