yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
