a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
