I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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