i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
