Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
