My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
