i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
