Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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