i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just high enough for therapy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
