we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just pee around me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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