Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
