i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do vagina's smell?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
